It was three years before I came to accept that medication was needed for my mental health. I had already completed CAT therapy, bereavement therapy, and one round of CBT, before Sertraline was prescribed by my GP.
I can recall the fear in taking that first tablet, needing my brother at the other end of the phone to talk me through it, putting any worries at bay. I was overcome with the fear of possible side-effects, instantly checking my pupils for dilation and my body for rashes.
Now please don’t think that I am demeaning anyone who takes medication from the offset, far from it – you must always follow medical advice. It is just that I, myself, wanted to avoid medical professionals saying that medication is not the ‘magic cure’, months or even years down the line, and yet this is exactly what has happened. I have now exhausted the medication list devised by my then psychiatrist on our first appointment, eleven to be exact.
What I can say is that I have done everything expected of me, and more. While I wish that a magic wand could be waved to take the pain away, we all do, I am also aware that this will never happen, especially due to my diagnosis.
I understand that a level of acceptance is required, though that is easier said than done. How do you accept something that has such an impact on both you and your loved ones? Something that is a life-long battle? This is exactly why suicidal ideation is an overarching challenge for me.
However, while there may be no magic cure, as such, there are therapies and medications to help ease the symptoms of said conditions, it just takes time and sheer determination to find the correct combination. It would be so much easier, though, if tests were available to find the correct medication at the start of treatment, helping to avoid the listed side-effects.
Loosening the Chains of Mental Illness 